Less Hiding, More Thriving: Build Confidence with SMART Goals

If you’ve spent years putting others’ needs before your own, even setting a goal for yourself might feel uncomfortable. Saying, ‘I want to be more assertive’ can feel bold—maybe even scary. But what if you could take that desire and turn it into a doable plan that actually sticks?

Why Vague Goals Don’t Work

“I’m going to be more assertive”; “I’m going to quit smoking”; “I’m going to lose weight.” These are all great intentions, but they’re broad and vague. How many times have you set a goal, only to give up before you even really got started? That’s where SMART goals come in.

What Are SMART Goals?

SMART goals are Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant, and Time-specific. They take big, hazy dreams and turn them into focused, manageable steps. When your goals are SMART, they provide direction, help you track progress, and allow for adjustments along the way. They work for both short- and long-term goals, and their built-in flexibility makes them especially empowering.

Meet Ben: A Real-World Example

So let’s get SMART! Let’s bring that first goal of “I’m going to be more assertive” to life. Ben, a queer professional who’s been a people-pleaser most of his life, is finally ready to speak up more at work. He works collaboratively on several projects with his coworkers and usually follows others’ direction. But now, he wants to contribute ideas and take a more active role in leadership. With the guidance of his coach, Ben created the following SMART goal:

I will be the first to share one idea about improving timelines every week this month at our weekly project planning meeting.

Breaking It Down

Ben knows exactly what he needs to do, when he needs to do it, and has time to prepare for it during the week so he’s not put on the spot. It’s relevant to his larger goal of being more assertive, and he can track his weekly progress and adjust as needed. Even though it’s slightly out of his comfort zone, it feels doable—which builds confidence. At the end of the month, he can reflect: does he want to level up his goal, or keep going with this one?

Start Small, Stay Focused

Big goals are great, but to be effective, they need to be clearly defined. Breaking them down into smaller, measurable actions makes them less overwhelming and more achievable. Ben’s goal is a work-in-progress, but he turned a vague desire into a specific, actionable plan. He’s no longer stuck in people-pleasing mode—he’s stepping into his voice.

Flexibility is a Strength

SMART goals are powerful because they’re not rigid. "Measurable" means you can track your progress and tweak things as needed. For example, during one weekly meeting, Ben's idea was such a hit that he was put in charge of implementation—a big responsibility. Instead of sharing a new idea the next week, he gave an update on his progress and delegated tasks to support his plan. Still assertive, still aligned with his larger goal.

Take Your First Step

If you’ve been playing small or holding back, SMART goals give you a way to start reclaiming your voice—one bold, specific step at a time. You don’t have to leap into a new life overnight. Just take the first step. And then the next.

One of the biggest benefits of coaching is being held accountable to your goals. So if this is what you need, let’s connect! Just click on the blue button below.